Submission – Why It’s Not a Bad Word Part 2: Submission in Marriage

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Ephesians 5:22 NKJV

Most women read this scripture and think, submit? Who me? No way am I submitting to a man. No way am I letting a man run my life. Women have spent so many years building their independence at home and in the workplace that the thought of submission sounds like the Bible wants to send us back to the Stone Age.

However, after studying this short scripture, I realized the actual context.

Enduring Word Commentary gives a great explanation.

“Submission does not mean inferiority. As well, submission does not mean silence. Submission means “sub-mission.” There is a mission for the Christian marriage, and that mission is obeying and glorifying God. The wife says, “I’m going to put myself under that mission. That mission is more important than my individual desires. I’m not putting myself below my husband, I’m putting myself below the mission God has for our marriage, for my life.”

I love this! Wives (and future wives), you are submitting to God’s mission for your marriage.

Dr. Tony Evans’ Commentary really opened my eyes.

“The purpose of marriage and family is to advance God’s kingdom in history through replicating the image of God and exercising dominion over the earth.”

“If the husband and wife are out of alignment with that, God’s blessing will not flow, and his kingdom will not advance.”

“God intends marriage to model the love of Christ for the church and the response of the church to Christ for the world to see.”

“…the passage is not talking about a distinction in value or personhood. God the Son is equal in essence to God the Father, but he is subordinate to him in function. Likewise, a wife is equal to her husband in her being – both are made in God’s image. But God has created a wife to function in a significant, but subordinate, role to her husband.”

Let’s also remember the rest of the scripture says, “…as to the Lord.” So, what does that mean?

“The husband’s authority has limitations, then. He cannot ask his wife to submit to anything outside of God’s will. The wife submits within boundaries.”

These commentaries clear up a lot, at least for me. Ultimately, the husband cannot lead the wife to sin or anything outside God’s will. And if he does, the wife does not have to submit to him. Did you know there were boundaries to submission?

We are following Christ, and as long as your husband follows Christ, there should be no hesitation in following him.

God is a God of order and structure. Let’s look at 1 Corinthians 11:3 NLT “But there is one thing I want you to know. The head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”

There it is, structure and order. Once we go out of order, we are out of alignment. Man was created first, and women derived from man just as Christ from God. There must be order. Order is put in place to prevent chaos and confusion.

Again, submission does not mean women are inferior. Because God created us all in His image, we all have equal value. Submission in marriage is a mutual commitment—the husband to God and the wife to the husband. The husband has to submit just as the wife does.

Here is one more commentary from my personal Bible, The Life Application Study Bible.

“Thus God calls for submission among equals. He did not make the man superior, he made a way for a husband and wife to work together. Jesus Christ, although equal with God the Father, submitted to him to carry out the plan for salvation. Likewise, although equal to man under God, the wife should submit to her husband for the sake of their marriage and family. Submission between equals is submission by choice, not by force.”

Again, I want to reiterate that submission is not a bad thing. The world has made it seem bad, but God makes it good. It doesn’t make you smaller or insignificant. On the contrary, it makes you a partner and fulfills a bigger purpose for the Kingdom of God.

Every day we submit to laws made by leaders of our country. We submit to the rules of our employer. We submit to dozens of worldly things, sometimes by force, where we have no other choice.

However, God is not a forceful God. We all have free will to submit to him, whether directly or through marriage. The difference is the reward for submission to Christ far outweighs anything this world can give us.

I encourage you, if you had a negative view on what submission looked like in marriage or in your relationship with God, renew your mind and look at it with new eyes.

I pray that the scales have been removed and you are now in a posture of submission.

Yours Truly Moe