Identity Crisis

Coming to Christ later in your life can have its challenges. For example, I didn’t grow up in church; therefore, I never had a foundation based on faith in Christ. Without this foundation, I was forced to find my identity in the world and believe what others told me about myself.

I adopted certain personality traits, behaviors, and mental patterns that I believed to be normal because my mom or family members were that way. We accept certain unhealthy patterns because we think well; this runs in my family, therefore I am what I am. 

We accept how the world has shaped us, good or bad. Not all things are bad right? You may have gotten some great habits and talents from your gene pool. You might have gotten great structure, discipline, and learning habits that greatly benefited you. And maybe your life turned out great without you even knowing God. You turned out successful. You graduated from a great school. You built a great career. You amassed wealth. Everyone is proud of you. You are proud of yourself. 

But what if you lived someone else’s life the entire time? What if there was more to accomplish? What if you were supposed to go in a different direction? What if there was supposed to be something more fulfilling? What if your mother and father got it all wrong because they didn’t know God? They just taught you what their parents taught them, and maybe their parents didn’t know God. 

I heard a great prophet break down this verse in Jeremiah 1:5; “before I formed you in the womb I knew you…” He explained that there are two versions of ourselves in this verse. There is the formed version and the known version. The formed version was created when your mother and father conceived you, your physical manifestation in your mother’s womb. The known version is your spirit, which God knew long before creation. So, God knew our spirit man long before we were formed. I hope this makes sense.

Before God spoke a single thing into creation, he already knew all of us. He knew what He wanted us to become. He knew what our assignment would be on the earth. He knew the gifts we would have, etc. He knew us. He created the creation for us. Therefore, we were thought of before creation. 

“You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” Psalms 139:16 NLT

Once we were formed, our spirit man (our known self) was to enter our formed self and do what God told our spirit man to do. Our formed selves are simply the vehicle or vessels to carry out the assignments given to our spirit man. 

So what happened? The fall. Sin came in. We lost our way. Instead of adopting the practices of God that He spoke to us (our spirit man) before creation began, we adopted brokenness, trauma, unhealthy family traits, and behaviors. We took those things and ran with them as if it was ours. We owned something that genuinely wasn’t ours to own. If you grew up in a surrounding not rooted in Christ, you took on a life that wasn’t yours for a long time, as I did.

Your New Identity: Giving God Back His Authority. 

In Genesis 17:5, God changed Abram’s name to Abraham. He was 99 years old when God gave him a new identity in his new name. When first doing the research, I thought I would find that these two names have different meanings. However, further research found that Abram and Abraham mean the same thing. For example, Abram means “exalted father,” and Abraham means “father of a multitude.” Read the Hebrew meanings below.

..both names in fact mean exactly the same thing “father lifted up” or “exalted father”. The beginning of both names is אב (AB) meaning “father”. The “ram” in Abram is דם meaning “lifted”, a parent root. The raham in Abraham is רהם also means “lifted,” a child root derived from the parent root MR.

I thought God changed Abram’s name in Genesis to give him a new identity, but that can’t be true if both names mean the same thing. Then I found the below explanation, which gave me an entirely different perspective. 

In Genesis chapters one and two we have the naming of all of creation. We find that Adam named Eve, his children and all of the animals, while God named the light, darkness, sky and land. From this we find something very interesting. Adam had authority over his wife, children and the animals, while God has authority over the light, darkness, sky and land. If you have authority over something, you have the right and responsibility to name it. Abram was named by his father Terah, the one who had authority over him. But, when Abram left his father’s house and headed out on his own, God, who respected the authority of Terah previously, now takes the role of his authority and changes his name indicating a change in authority, not necessarily a change in character.

God changed Abram’s name to take back his authority over Abram’s life. God changes our name to take back his authority over our lives. This explanation makes SO much sense, especially for those like myself who have found Christ later in life. We’ve allowed the world to rule us for so long. When we come to Christ, one of the first things that happen is we start to have an identity crisis. Who am I? What is my purpose in life? What am I supposed to be doing? What do I believe? Every ideology and what we’ve identified with growing up starts to shift. Nothing makes sense anymore—everything we grabbed hold of and claimed as our identity is not ours. Every behavior we believed was “this is just how I am because my mother/father is this way” turns out to be completely false. 

However, now we feel lost, but the Bible says this is the time when we are found. How can this be? This doesn’t feel good, and it’s conflicting and makes you want to either go back to Egypt or wander the wilderness for 40 years. Either way, it’s hard to make the conscious decision to trek through the wilderness to see the promised land on the other side. 

This season of feeling lost in the world is the perfect time for you to give God his rightful place of authority over your life so that your true identity can be found.

Once God changed Abraham’s name, he made a covenant with him, sealing this new authority over Abraham’s life. “I will make My covenant between Me and you, And I will multiply you exceedingly.” Genesis 17:2 NASB

God is ready to make his covenant with you and give you a new name. We must be willing to give God the authority to do what he desires in our lives. But he doesn’t take it; we must have the willing hearts to give it to him.

“Then I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you, and I will make your name great, so that you will exemplify divine blessing.” Gen 12:2 NKJV

Whether you are a new believer or a seasoned saint, maybe you just now realized you’ve never given God authority over your life. Perhaps you’ve never allowed him to change your name. However, once God has authority over your life, he can begin to answer all those burning questions. He can instruct your spirit man (the known you) of what the formed you needs to do on the earth.  He can begin to multiply you exceedingly.

However, don’t expect Him to answer you all at once or even how you think he should. He will reveal the answers one step at a time. With each step you take with him, the more he will reveal. He won’t give you all the answers because you are seeking them but because you seek Him. Make sure you seek God for God, not for what He has for you. It’s like being that friend that only calls when they want something. Don’t be that friend, and don’t be that child to God. 

The transition of shedding your old self and stepping into a new identity with Christ is where we can lose most new believers. They may think this is too hard and confusing. It was easier to follow the world instead of God. So, how do we stay on track? 

You get to know the one that now has the authority over your life. Get closer to your new ruler. If you are hungry to find out what God sent you here to do, you need to get hungry for the one that can reveal it to you. The best place to start is to spend time with God in his word. Read your Bible. My pastor always says the Bible is an instruction manual. God is waiting to instruct you in the way in which you should go. 

You should also spend a lot of time in prayer and worship. I hear God the most when I am in worship. During this time, you glorify God for who he is. Give God his props. Recognizing his goodness can bring you a lot of clarity. He leads our minds toward his purpose when we direct our thoughts onto him. You don’t have to accept the hand that this broken world has dealt you. You don’t have to accept and claim the generational curses. You have left your father’s house. God is ready to take authority over your life and bless you as he did Abraham. Give God his place and step into your new identity.

If you are struggling with your identity in Christ, or struggling to navigate this new path, I encourage you to relinquish all fear, doubt, and intimidation to God. Decrease so He can increase in your life. May God bless you and keep you.

Yours Truly, Moe