How Did I Get Here?

How did I get to a place in my life where I write a Christian blog?

How did I get to a place where I am writing my first book?

Who is this person?

This is not the person I thought I would ever become. I did not see writing in my future.  I never imagined that reading the bible, and taking notes on all the new revelations God shows me would be my idea of a fun Saturday night. But, BABY let me tell you it’s a good time!

So how did I get here?

I had to get lost first before being found

I went through life following my own path and my own rules. I always felt confident that I knew exactly what I was doing and where I was going. I strategically planned every step of my life, and ended up almost exactly where I wanted to be. Like most people, I was looking to climb the corporate ladder and be successful (whatever that means). I just had to be making 6 figures by a certain age, have my own place by a certain age, and be Ms. Independent.

Of course there is nothing wrong with setting goals for your life, and going after them; But what was my ultimate goal? What was I trying to prove, and who was I trying to prove it to? Was I only following society’s standards of success, or doing what my family expected of me? Was I truly following my heart, pursuing my gifts, or more importantly doing what God put me here to do?

I guess you can say I was following all of the above, except the God part. I was trying to prove to myself that I could be independent. I was trying to follow the golden rule of life, i.e, go to school, work hard, move up the corporate ladder, make lots of money. I was also trying to make my family proud. But somehow by the age of 31 after having my own place, own car, and making a GOOD amount of money, I was miserable as ever. How could this be? I followed all the rules, didn’t I? Aren’t I supposed to be happy where I am? I achieved a certain level of success at a fairly young age, how could this not make me happy?

Jesus took the wheel.

I literally had a Jesus take the wheel moment, because I got to a point where I had no idea where I was steering my life. I was lost and had no direction. I was tired of trying to figure it out by myself. I had friends and people around me who were experiencing God working in their life, and I wanted that experience for myself. That first experience came during a complete melt down, and God and I had it out. I was frustrated with where I was in life and of course I took it out on Him. I blamed Him for every decision that I made and he wasn’t apart of. He quickly snatched me up, and reminded me that He had no say in all the choices that I made for myself.

However, the moment I turned it all over to Him, He told me exactly what He wanted me to do. Write a book. He didn’t give me a step by step manual on how it would get done, but He did give me a vision of what faith looked like and just told me to trust Him. I wish I could say I jumped up shouting “Yes, and Amen”, but that was not the case. I definitely fought Him on this for a while. I gave Him a million and one reasons and excuses as to why he had the wrong person.

“God, I haven’t even been going to church for that long”

“I don’t even know the bible that well. I can’t spit verses off the top of my head”

“God, there are seasoned Saints out there that have grown up in the church, go ask one of them to write”

I could go on and on. The point is it took me years to finally say “Yes, and Amen”. It took years for me to find the confidence to believe and even call myself a writer. I am by no means an expert on this faith walk stuff. I am learning as I go, and God keeps prompting me to share everything I learn. So here I am. In uncharted territory trying to figure this thing out. The only difference is this time I have a guide who knows these waters better than I do.